Our Sweet Emmy

Let me introduce you to another part of my family.  These are our two wonderful dogs.  The one on the right is Bosco and the one on the left is Emmy, both are rescues and both are amazing.  We got Bosco first as a puppy, but he was lonely and had some mad separation anxiety, so we got Emmy from Blue Ridge Boxer Rescue.  Bosco settled down and these two became instant friends.

Here are some of them together:

These were our first "kids" as Megan and I started living our lives together and settling in.  Bosco is the wild and crazy one with a strange personality.  Emmy is the sweet one.  She wants nothing more than to be petted and loved and appreciated.  All of our friends and family love Emmy, it is hard not to.  She comes up, shaking her little nub so hard that her whole rear shakes and then just stands there while you pet her.  If you stop, she will work her way into your lap or move onto someone else for attention.  She has been known to fall asleep standing up being petted by someone.  All of our friends love Emmy, and Emmy loves them.

She is also very loyal and very protective.  Of the two, she is the one that was alert for noise or suspicious movement, barking at threats and standing over us.  If Megan and I are in separate rooms, she will stay with Megan, but come in to check on me every so often.  When you are sick she stays by your side, when you are sad, she gives you love.  She is always there to step through life with you.

As we moved to the next stage of our lives, Emmy was ready to go.  Here she is greeting Smalls a few days after we got home from the hospital.

She approved.  She immediately started watching over him and looking out for him.

They like to do things together, a nice team.

She offers kisses with her enormously long tongue.

And she is very patient with all his antics.

This morning was one of the harder mornings that Megan and I have had.  We went to the vets office this morning to see what was going on with our girl.  I had to work late last night, and I got a call from Megan that she couldn't find Emmy, we were afraid she had gotten out and gotten lost.  This worried me because Emmy has been struggling with Arthritis (we thought) and just hasn't seemed very strong lately. I told Megan that we would figure it out, just be patient until I got home.  She called me back about 15 minutes later, a bit upset, saying she was worried, she had talked to the neighbor who had seen Emmy in the backyard about an hour earlier.  She was scared to look for her because she didn't want to find her dead or incapacitated in the yard.  I told her I was wrapping up ASAP and would scout for her when I returned home.  After about 15 more minutes, she called again, in complete tears, saying that something was crazy wrong.  She found Emmy, but she was falling over, leaning to the side, running into walls, walking in circles.  She wasn't acting like she knew where she was and seemed confused and lost.  I called her mom and had her come stay with Megan until I could get home.  Megan talked to our Vet who offered some advice and made an appt for the morning.  Once I did get home, Emmy was laying down.  Right before bed, she got up again and ran into the closet wall and fell over again.  I got her to lay down as we went to sleep, but she woke me about 5 times in the night with her pacing around the room.  She was lost/confused/tired.  She hadn't eaten or taken a drink since the previous day and she wouldn't take anything that morning.

We got ready for work and got Smalls ready for school.  We got Smalls and Emmy in the car and dropped Smalls off at school.  As we got out of the car, I took Smalls around to the side and opened the door.  I told him to give Emmy a kiss and say bye.  He leaned in, kissed her on the mouth, said "bye memi, I love you"  Heart breaker.  He didn't know that would be the last time he saw her.  We got the office and got in a clinic room to see the vet.  Emmy was still very disoriented and confused, but had better balance.  She still had not eaten or taken a drink.  She would walk into corners and just stand there, staring at the corner, doing nothing.  We talked through all the symptoms with the vet, and she said it seemed neurological, perhaps brain tumor.  She was concerned about the not eating, weight loss, and some loss of bowel control.  I could tell something was wrong more than all those symptoms.  Emmy's little nub of a tail had not shaken since I got home the night before, and that thing never, NEVER stopped shaking.  She didn't greet, she didn't know who I was.  She didn't want attention and wouldn't stay still for petting.  We consulted for a while and made the decision to send Emmy on to find peace and rest.  The vet left the office for us to say our goodbyes.  I removed her collar, got down on the floor with her and just held her.  I summoned every bit of thankfulness, joy, love, passion, concern, emotion, longing into my words and told her that I loved her and would miss her.  I was hoping that if I tried hard enough, she would recognize me just one last time before I said goodbye.  But no matter what I did or how hard I wished it, her tail wouldn't shake, she wouldn't look at me.  I resigned myself to it, grabbed her face, and simply told her, "Thank you"

Thank you for the unconditional love.  Thank you for the protection.  Thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the being a part of my life and my family.  Thank you for loving smalls and bringing him joy.  Thank you for everything, I will miss you soo much.

I know some people won't get it, but this girl was a part of our family and our hearts are broken.  I want her back, to fill the empty place in my life.  My I know that only time will heal that.

I love you Emmy and I am so glad that we got you.  I promise I will stop crying over this soon, but for now, I need to do this.