A Necessary Evil: Deal With It

Well gentlemen, it is that time of year, where we get our own special day to screw things up, as if there already aren't enough of those days.  I tend to not have much affection for this holiday, for various reasons.  First, it only gets more annoying with each passing year as I hear people call it "Valentime's Day."  Really?  ValenTIMES?  Secondly, I am still convinced that this holiday was invented as a source of revenue for greeting card companies and their affiliates, not the sappy story of some Saint.  Lastly, does it really require a holiday for us to share our love with our spouses, shouldn't we be doing that all the time?  And just because we don't pull some romantic comedy crap on this day, it is a sign we don't love our spouses, regardless of everything else?  Well men, I am here to say, that no matter what you or your woman believe, it is good for you to do something, so here is a bit of advice.

Keep in mind, that these suggestions, if implemented, do not have guaranteed results and are dependent on past Valentine's Day experience.  If you have done some good things in the past, then one of the easy suggestions won't be very impressive, but if you haven't been an active valentine, then those will work well.  This list is not comprehensive or exhaustive, just a place to start.

Another side note here.  If you have kids, you are going to need to arrange for them to be supervised.  Call a friend or family member and have someone babysit.

Easy

A card.  Whether you spend one dollar or 10 dollars on a card, or make your own, this is important.  If you do nothing else, get her a card and don't just sign your name, tell her why she is special, what you love her for and are thankful for, and why she makes your life better.

Dinner and a movie.  This is a classic, it is simple, but it is nice.  But, here is the key!  This holiday is about spoiling our loved ones.  Take the woman to her favorite restaurant and go see a movie she wants to see.  No matter if you don't like any of it, you should enjoy the time with her and have fun.  That holds true for all of this.

Flower delivery.  Whether at home or at the office, this is a winner, even if she says she doesn't like flowers.  It is a double winner at work because she gets to have the flowers in front of all the coworkers and showoff.  I know you may not think that is true, but trust me, it is.  For bonus points, throw in some chocolate or something she really likes but doesn't buy for herself.

A gift.  Something she would like, I recommend a massage if you can swing it.  Check out the gift giving guide about Etsy ...a decent place to get your mind in the right direction.


Medium


Cook her a meal.  I put this in medium, even though it may be easy for some or hard for others.  I know my recipe list is weak right now, but you could at least start her day off with some breakfast and follow my French Toast recipe.  If you know that cooking is beyond you, and will only end with a house fire, then see above for dinner and a movie. *NOTE: Do the dishes and clean the kitchen yourself.  Make her a bowl of ice cream or something nice for after the meal, tell her to relax, and you clean up, she shouldn't have to do any of it, or you have ruined everything.

Take her to a place that holds memories.  Whether it be a place you went when you were dating or where you got engaged or where you got married, it is nice to go and reflect and shows that you have taken time to think about how to make this special. This could be hard if you live far away from those places, and if that is the case, bump this into the hard category because you will have to recreate the setting, which would be spectacular.

Take a day off work and clean the house.  You have an option here to pay a company to come in and clean the house, but that is a major risk.  It shows that you are thoughtful, but also shows that you couldn't do it yourself.  If you don't know how to clean at all, then take time to fix some of the things that you she wants you to fix.  Whatever you do, if you don't know how to do laundry, don't start now, it will only end badly.  Laundry looks quite simple, but it has rules, and those rules are important.  If you don't believe, then mitigate the risk and only do your clothes.   That way, when stuff get ruined or smells funny, it isn't hers or the kids.

Hard


Surprises!  Surprises are hard because they take careful planning, usually in advance, and require diligence in the follow through.  You could send her on a scavenger hunt that gets her out of the house for 30 minutes and in that time you can set something up at the house.  A home cooked meal, some nice relaxing music and a massage by you, or you can go for gold!  Stick a note on the door telling her to follow the trail and enjoy herself.  Line rose petals (your local flower show will sell you petals seperate) from the door to the tub.  Have a nice hot bath there, with bath salts, candles, relaxing music and some orange peels in the water.  Wait until you know she is home, you sneak in the house, and cook dinner or bring dinner in and have it ready for when she gets out of the bath.

Any combination of three or more of the easy/medium suggestions.  For example, make her breakfast, then send her flowers at work, then take her to dinner and a movie.  It makes the entire day about her, and that is always good.